


Meant To Be

by DeedeeWrites



Series: Who We Were Meant To Be - AU [5]
Category: One Piece
Genre: F/M, Gen, Marine Corps, Marine Straw Hats, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:15:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24411916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeedeeWrites/pseuds/DeedeeWrites
Summary: She only thinks so in hindsight, but maybe, she falls in love with him right then and there.orA side story to Who We Were Meant To Be
Relationships: Roronoa Zoro/Tashigi
Series: Who We Were Meant To Be - AU [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1707700
Comments: 35
Kudos: 113
Collections: Real Good Shit





	Meant To Be

Zoro breaks Tashigi's glasses when they first meet, which makes her angry. In the coming years would serve as a sure way to tease him.

She watches him risk his entire future on a sword's whim that same day, tempting fate at every turn and betting on his will fearlessly again and again.

She only thinks so in hindsight, but maybe, she falls in love with him right then and there.

* * *

She got teased about Zoro all the time. She imagines that to their crew members, they make sense. How could they not, right? Both of them are dedicated sword practitioners and proficient marines, with spines of steel and characters like thunder. Almost too alike to get along.

The joking's weird sometimes because Tashigi and Zoro are friends. Tashigi didn't think she'd find a best friend as an adult, such a thing seemed confined to childhood, but there Zoro stands.

Talking about swordsmanship turns into swords and then their own specific swords and then their dreams. Zoro tells her about Kuina. Tashigi tells him about being a woman in the force.

They talk about piracy and bounty hunting, and morality, and Tashigi has never shared so much about herself. She doesn't think she's shared half this much with Smoker, who is her mentor, and the person Tashigi often feels closest too.

As the jokes reach Zoro's ears, the swordsman doesn't get angry or annoyed like Tashigi thought he would. He smiles wolfishly at Nami and says, "maybe _Tashigi's_ the one who is secretly in love with me."

Tashigi laughs and smacks him in the shoulder. She had never seriously considered dating him, and his good humor and the rest of the crew's bafflement makes her smile.

The gag goes on.

Nami and Ussop refer to her as 'the wife' when they talk about her to Zoro, and Tashigi often gets meaningless questions about 'her husband.' Tashigi shrugs it off. The teasing is lighthearted compared to some of the crew's antics, though Sanji complains about it nonstop. (This only serves to make Zoro join the joke fully.) Smoker lectures them about all the levels of unprofessionalism they are engaging in, but Nami only sticks out her tongue at him when he turns around. Tashigi sends her mentor a mental apology for laughing.

* * *

Zoro doesn't save her often. Tashigi, for all that maybe she's not a force of nature is undoubtedly a formidable fighter, but as crew, they're always relying on each other and watching each other's backs.

On one occasion, he cuts down one of the rebels sneaking up on her and Nami. As the redhead thanks him, he goes:

"Just watching out for the woman I'm gonna to marry." And just like that, shit-eating grin and all, he disappears in the commotion.

It's the first time any of these jokes get to her, and Tashigi feels stupid when a flush rises to her cheeks. The worst part is that the phrase sticks.

* * *

It doesn't really go anywhere until after the Supernova Trials, what with the two of them spending so much time apart. Her squad has been assigned to pick up the prisoners from G2 when they meet again, she and Zoro managing to steal some time away. They're not big on letters, but they've talked over the snails a couple of times. Seeing him in person is very different; he's broader, and his hair looks an almost lighter shade of green. Conversation flows effortlessly between them when the topic turns naturally to their crews' insistent teasing.

"The joke's getting old, I think." She huffs in fond exasperation.

"Ignore them, that's what I do." He advises, leaning back on the tree, bubbles rising up from a couple of feet away. She leans back on her hands, curious about the bubbly texture on the grass. Their pants are damp from the Archipelago's foreign soil, but it's not uncomfortable, just a little annoying. Maybe it's the burn on his arm, or perhaps it's how much she's missed him. Perhaps, it's just the atmosphere and how they had unspokenly decided to get away from everything that makes her speak.

"I don't think you're secretly in love with me."

"I'm not," he concurs, but his eyebrow is raised, waiting for her to continue.

"And I'm certain that I'm not secretly in love with you."

"That's good."

"But, I do think that falling in love would be ridiculously easy."

And she's absolutely right.

* * *

At first, Zoro and Tashigi keep it quiet because they're not sure it's going to work. No reason to make their friends awkward if they end up being a casual thing, something you need to work out of your system. But then the weeks turn into months, and it goes on. Eventually, they just confirm it when people ask them, and that's how the word spreads.

* * *

It's after Tashigi has given Zoro everything she has, and she's explored every nook and cranny of him that he tells her. Zoro is definitely a listener, which is good because Tashigi's a talker, but what he tells her has been clearly on his mind.

"At your promotion, when you left the office and ran to me…" he begins, and she starts from where she's falling asleep, "you hugged me, and I just had this sudden urge to kiss you. It had never happened to me before. I didn't understand where it came from, so I didn't." He looks down on her, and it might be the softest expression he's seen on her yet. "I feel stupid now."

She remembers throwing her arms around him in absolute delight, she'd buried her face on his neck because "I wanted to kiss you, too." The air had been heavy, sparking with something unknown between them, but then Nami and Chopper and Mister Smoker and a bunch of their friends were there, and the moment passed. Tashigi had even forgotten about it. She'd had random urges to kiss Zoro throughout the years, fleeting fancies that she had been quick to vanish from her mind. She feels a little silly about it too.

* * *

Their relationship is not always pretty.

Zoro has quite the temper, and Tashigi is sensitive to a fault. He's simple and straightforward, and while Tashigi is fiercely independent, she is definitely a hopeless romantic. There's definitely a push and pull for balance when it comes to intimacy and affection, and sometimes, Zoro's too Zoro, and Tashigi is too Tashigi, and it all blows up.

Tashigi's had a horrible day. She's messed up some filing, and Smoker had chewed her out for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. More than upset, she's distraught at the disappointment of her mentor. Tashigi feels guilty. She prides herself a lot on her job and works very hard at it, but she still messes up. Sometimes, it's tough for her to accept dumb mistakes because of how much she cares. She meets up with Zoro for training in the search for comfort, but the man doesn't have any to spare.

He's always a bit rough around the edges, sometimes slightly dismissive of feelings he might view as inconsequential. Too straightforward a person to ever dwell on mistakes or regrets. Tashigi admires these things in him, but also knows she processes her feelings differently, and her way of handling things is just as valid. Zoro's definitely gotten better at being receptive to her need to vent, but today, he's had a rough day, too. They haven't seen each other in a week, and he looks wound tight. He fights only with Wado, but the pace he sets is brutal and has Tashigi on the defense from start to finish.

The sword comes down too hard and misses the scabbard, sneaking through her guard in a merciless move, she drops her sword in pain.

"Shit." Zoro halts immediately, looking at her with an unreadable expression. Tashigi looks at her thumb, it's already swelling, and the pain makes her a little dizzy. She's had worse before, but this was supposed to be some light sparring. Zoro surprised her. She sees the discoloration spreading, a sickly green, and when she tries to move the joint, the feeling is a strange mixture of numb and burning. It brings tears to her eyes. She looks at Zoro. "I think you broke my finger." Accidents happen during training, and she doesn't really blame him, but it's strange for Zoro to lose control like that. It's not the injury that upsets her, it's his response. He huffs and rolls his eyes and goes:

"You're exaggerating," is that _annoyance_ in his tone? How dare he? "I didn't hit you that hard."

"Zoro, it's already bruising." She replies, completely off-balance that he's trying to argue her injury. There's still an almost faraway look on his face when he shrugs.

"Doesn't mean it's broken." _What the-?_

"Zoro, that's _exactly_ what it means!" She snaps, hurt flickering inside her. His eyes narrow. "You're being an absolute asshole."

"You're exaggerating." Tashigi picks up her sword with one hand and doesn't even look back. She's angry enough that she doesn't want Zoro to follow her, but she finds herself disappointed when he doesn't anyway. She heads straight to the infirmary, her chest hurting more than her hand.

Zoro knocks on her door later that night.

"Chopper said that," he coughs awkwardly, "that you eh…" She's still reeling from their argument in the afternoon, but she helps him out anyways. She'd taken a long nap after being treated, too angry to focus on anything else.

"Broke my finger?" There's some petulance there, and she's grown up enough to acknowledge it, just not mature enough to curve it. Zoro sighs and looks to the side, but his stance clearly shows he knows he earned her attitude.

"Yeah, can I come in?" Tashigi widens the door to her cabin. The space is simple, but it's more spacious than others around the marine vessel, seeing as Tashigi is second in command. "A hostage died on our last patrol." He admits to her quietly, taking a seat on the edge of her bed. "I… wasn't fast enough, I saw the guy bleed out. He twitched the entire time and looked me dead in the eyes until he was gone." Her heart goes out to him, and she shuffles from one foot to the other in ruefulness. It doesn't excuse his behavior as much as she's willing to let it go. "It's been driving me crazy, and when I hit you today, I was just… done. Like, I couldn't feel any worse and I… I'm sorry for breaking your finger, and I'm sorry I was an asshole about it."

(She wonders what regular couples fight about.)

"Thanks for telling me." She wraps her arms around him, standing between his knees, and reaching for the extra hair tie she has him keep on his wrist. Zoro's eyes sparkle in interest. It's a little tricky to make the pony with the bandages around her thumb, but she manages well enough. She sits on one of his thighs, the right one so that he can see her easily, and rubs away the worry lines in his forehead. They sit strangely upon Zoro's forehead despite how stern he looks all the time. Zoro's eye closes, she briefly trails the scar of his left eye. "Apology accepted." The corner of his lips raise up slightly, but she knows how hard it can be for Zoro to apologize, especially unprompted.

"How's your finger?" _Truthfully, it hurts like hell._

"I can't practice for a couple of days, but I'll be fine." Zoro buries his face in her bosom, his strong arms wrapping around her waist, and he grunts something that might be regret or agreement. Tashigi runs her fingers through his short hair, scratching at his nape in that unique way that makes Zoro shudder. "Hey," he complains mildly, mostly unconcerned and taking in the comfort she offers. She pulls lightly at his hair until he's looking at her.

"More feeling talk and less of being a dick, yeah?" He chuckles.

"Sounds reasonable." Tashigi smiles and leans in for a kiss.

* * *

Tashigi had known something big was coming before 'Fire Fist' Ace ever escapes prison.

Maybe the fact that Zoro and the others were planning a heist on the world's most secure prison to break out Whitebeard's second division commander is a bit of a stretch of her knowledge. Still, Zoro had taken her out to dinner the night before for no reason, and if that didn't scream that all levels of mayhem were about to go down, nothing else would.

She enjoyed their date. It was a nice traditional place, specializing in seafood, which, having grown up in Loguetown, reminds her of home. Zoro is a gruff man, but he also knows her well, and he's a fast learner when he's committed to something.

"You're not going to tell me… Are you?" she asks as the waiter carries away their plates. He brings Zoro the third beer, and she shakes her head when he offers to refill her wine glass. Zoro sighs, hands crossed over his chests as he leans back on his chair. His white coat is sprawled around him, and he looks regal. Tashigi's stomach churns. Zoro's a private person, but in that bubble of existence, Tashigi tends to know anything that's going on. He's been on edge for a few days now, and it's making her nervous.

"You don't really wanna know." Well, that doesn't help her anxiety at all.

"Is this an apology in advance?" Zoro's expression closes off, and the only other time Tashigi had seen him like that had been back in Alabasta when they thought Luffy was going to die.

"It's goodbye."

Oh.

Tashigi looks down at her winecup, white even though the night is chilly.

_Oh._

They are breaking up.

The walk towards her ship is silent. When they get to the docks, it's late. Tashigi hasn't asked anymore about their breakup, but she's a little too shocked by it. They had a healthy, balanced relationship, and up until an hour ago, she'd thought they were both immensely happy together. As Zoro walks her to the plank before the G5's ship, he looks down on her, and the corners of his mouth are pulled down angrily. He hugs her. It catches her by surprise. Zoro has hugged her before, obviously, but he's never been particularly affectionate. It's when she feels wetness on her shoulder that it finally hits her that this is real.

_Zoro's crying._

Tashigi has only seen him cry once.

"I'm sorry," he chokes out, and she can tell that he is sorrier than she's ever seen him, more rueful than she ever thought him capable of. But whatever's going to split them up is bigger than either of them, and Zoro will never walk away from a thing he believes in. No matter the cost. She buries her face on his chest, cheek rubbing against the long scar Hawk Eyes gave him, and she weeps. She holds on for all she's worth. They stay frozen for a long time, and when his figure disappears in the distance, Tashigi feels like he's taken a vital chunk out of her.

"I would've married you," she whispers, truth bursting from inside her like reflux, but there's no one there to hear.

* * *

She sends the letter through Coby after the news breaks out. She knows there's no way the pink-haired teen will be left behind, and writing it is the hardest thing she's ever done.

_Zoro,_

_When I saw you the first time, I did not think you were special and perhaps, you aren't. You looked more like a thug than a marine, and there was nothing between us except the awkward acceptance that comes with meeting your colleague and knowing that peaceful -if mildly entertaining- coexistence is not only unavoidable, but highly encouraged. I still cannot believe you broke my glasses._

_I heard once that young relationships are meant to be enjoyed. I've never thought you were a passing fancy... Not because I thought we were forever –even though I did– but because of the person you trusted me to be, and all the drive you've effortlessly brought into my life._

_This letter has a little bit of time in the making, started in the spur-of-the-moment after our dinner, I'm hoping for the opportunity to send it, though it might just stay forgotten._

_Frankly speaking, I'm livid, Zoro, angry, and hurt in ways I never thought I could be. You've always been brash and single-minded, and after our last talk, I knew it'd be bad, but… I wish you would've chosen me. In the end, we're through not by our mistakes or shortcomings, but because of who we see ourselves to be, and isn't that odd? The final result is that I love you, and I can't_ be with you. Yet, _we still somehow managed to steal from life a 1 year, 7 months, and 16 days, even if it wasn't meant to last. You'll say it's sappy, but perhaps it's all the more magical because of it._

_This letter isn't supposed to reproach you, but to tell you things I may not be able to say aloud, stuff I really want you to know now that I can hear the resignation beneath the rushing waves of betrayal. I know it's the marines you've turned your back to, but I wonder if you stopped to consider that I am a marine, too._

_You've made me question everything about me. That's given me an understanding of who I am as a person and what exactly the things I value in life are. Like honesty and commitment, along with independence. You've taught me how to love someone without crowding them, and while you're each out doing our own thing. I've learned that not everybody loves the same way, and we have to accept the love people can give. I've also come to painfully understand how we only accept the love we think we deserve. I needed all of that._

_Almost as much as I need you now._

_You need to get in contact with your emotions because they're not meant to be hidden. You need to get a handle on your temper, lest it gets you killed. And you need to lower your defenses and not be afraid to feel vulnerable and bare, you have good people around you, and I won't be there to crack you open anymore. Is it presumptuous that such a thing scares me? I understand it's scary to get hurt, but trust me on this if not on anything else: it's worth it, even if it doesn't last._

_(You taught me how to love.)_

_I may have loved who came before, but I am in love with_ you. _It's strange because, in the tone of this letter, I feel like that should be in the past tense, but I've never been a liar. And that's okay._

_I want you to know that I'll be fine. I wish I could understand your reasoning, but I know you, really know you. If you've left, it's because of a good reason... Always follow what makes you happy. (I hope that's what you're doing now.)_

_I want to say I'm sorry for not being right for you, that I cannot follow where you're going. I'm sorry for when I was pushy, or not understanding. I'm sorry for the times I was mean or mocking. I'm sorry about the times I said too much and didn't listen enough. I'm sorry for all the pain I ever caused you, and I'm sorry that we didn't have more sex. I'm still sorry, I couldn't make your birthday special. I'm sorry about all the arguments we've had._

_I'm not sorry for loving you._

_It's strange to think about all the things that are going to be different. When I got home after dinner, my heart threatened to beat itself out of my chest. I didn't know yet what was going to happen, but I knew it'd be the last time I'd see you. I felt distraught but also oddly calm. I thought, 'I need to talk to someone.' And you were the first person to come to mind. I even chuckled to myself. I couldn't exactly call you to talk about you breaking up with me, now could I?_

_I sat at the table holding your hand, and I couldn't look at you, because I wasn't going to have the strength to let you go if I did. I am going to miss you so much. These few days have given me a new perspectiv., I wanted to ask you to stay, I like to think you would've, why else let me know in advance and jeopardize the jailbreak? But we were only going to make each other unhappy, I can tell. Chaining you down is a thought I cannot bear._

_People around me would have to be blind, deaf, dumb, and never have had a single conversation with me to not be aware of how in love with you I am. I've been told it's written all over my face (and how embarrassing is that?). I want you to know that even with the weeks of awkward conversations and glances I have to look forward to (everyone's very interested as to how I'm coping with your desertion), I don't think I can ever be ashamed of how shamelessly I've loved you. In fact, I hope that you'll take a page out of my book and make someone really happy someday, someone who makes_ you _really happy._

_Thank you for all of that._

_Thank you for all the rough advice and all the sweet kindness, for allowing me to burrow deep into your vulnerability and for confiding me secrets I shall carry to my grave. Thank you for helping me run through my katas countless times and always having simple, sincere advice. Thank you for taking care of me, especially when I felt that I didn't need it. Thank you for loving me just as I am._

_Coby told me once that he thought the amount of time we'd been dating was "insane," but to me, it feels like it was yesterday. You've never lost your shine, Zoro; right now –despite common logic– I fear you never will. I'm still as electrified by your presence as I was by that first time I saw Sandai Kitetsu choose you. I couldn't quite believe you were real._

_Thank you for all the surprises, all the apologies, and all the understanding you've shown me. Thank you for making me feel the way you do. Thank you for being who you are._

_I know this is long, but there are just a few more things. I want you to know:_

_You are the most handsome man I know. Your stupid smirk – and God, writing about it just brought me to tears – is the most charming thing I've encountered, and I love it. You have an impressive ability to make my name sound so safe in your mouth. Your hands are things I could never forget._

_Thank you for keeping the coarse hair of your happy trail, even though you used to shave it. I've loved it with the same fervor I've enjoyed your sharp hip bones and every dip and curve of your muscles. Take care of your butt because it's a good butt, and it deserves your consideration. I hope whoever comes next will be as mystified by your feet as I am, maybe then you'll realize that it's not a me thing. I hope you eventually start wearing shorts more because you really have the nicest legs._

_I don't think I'll get through this if I write down what I love about you as a person but to keep it nice a simple: never lose your kindness or your determination to improve. The thing that drew me to you was the passion for what you do and your ethic for hard work. Keep dreaming, Zoro, because I believe in you -Mihawk doesn't know what's coming. (Well, he kind of does, doesn't he?)_

_You are the best conversations I've ever had. The perpetrator of the most loved I've felt. The most beautiful person I have ever met._

_(I'll really miss your forehead kisses.)_

_The last time I kissed you had an odd tint to it, and maybe I knew before I_ knew. _I wish I would've kissed you longer and held you harder. I don't think I'll ever entirely forget the taste of your lips or the way your hand feels around mine. I don't want to, and I don't need to. You've set precedence, the new minimum of acceptability to whoever comes after, and I have a favor to ask you. Promise me you'll do the same._

_Whoever holds your heart next, make sure she loves you more than I ever have and that she's more than I could ever give you. If you do, I'll even promise you to wish you 100% happiness instead of 99.9%._

_I think 'I'm single now.' There's no "we." There's no plan. There's no nothing. No Zoro and Tashigi, no Tashigi and Zoro. It feels kind of like the rug has been taken out from under me._

_Who am I without you by my side?_

_It's a frightening thought, but there's some excitement there too, lurking at the corners, eager for a world of possibility unraveling before you and before me._

_It doesn't matter what I say after this letter, which is as much for me as it is for you. If you're going to remember something about it, take this: I love you and I always will. For a brilliant moment, I thought you were going to be it, as far away and far fetched as that may seem._

_I write this so that my love for you will have the forever we never will._

_Thank you for letting me love you._

_Love always,_

_Tashigi_

_PS: Take care of Luffy._

* * *

When he cuts down Monet in Punk Hazard, he doesn't say it, but it echoes in Tashigi's mind anyways.

_Just watching out for the woman I'm going to marry._

He looks immensely different after so many years, and at the same time, exactly like she remembers him.

* * *

"He misses you." Usopp confides in her, and Tashigi appreciates the sentiment, but honestly, she'd rather not know. One, because Zoro is an immensely private person and if he wanted her to know such a thing, he'd walk right up to her and tell her. Two, because there's nothing she can do about this information. Zoro's a pirate, a very wanted pirate, and Tashigi is a Rear-Admiral of the Marines.

"I see," she responds politely.

"You won't come join us?" he offers, but he knows what her answer will be, it doesn't stop the glimmer of pleading in his eyes. "Zoro's scarier without you."

_Is he, really?_ Tashigi's never really seen a difference.

"Zoro's never asked," she evades.

"You'd say no." The voice surprises her and Usopp as well, who looks guilty as hell as he hurries away from Zoro's glare. The man in question sits on the now empty seat around the fire, dark green kimono fitting him to a T. The silence is only broken by the crackling of the campfire. It's comfortable, even after all this time.

"Are you over me?" He asks out of a sudden. Tashigi knows better than to be surprised at such an intimate question. She wouldn't be surprised if this is the only thing Zoro's come to ask.

"I think a part of me will always be in love with you, but I like to think that I'm happy regardless," she says honestly, "there have been other guys, but nothing truly serious." If this bothers him, he doesn't show it, but Tahigi isn't really telling him to upset him.

"I didn't ask because…" he clears his throat, and there's definitely red rising to his cheeks, "you would never ask me to choose between you and my dream. I didn't want to do that to you. As fucked up as the system is, you love it, and you do good in it. I… couldn't stay there after what happened."

Tashigi doesn't ask about what happened. Smoker's told her enough, and it's precisely to avoid such things from happening again that she stays.

"I know."

"You know I…" She nods, taking a sip of her own drink, because she does know.

His presence is familiar and comforting and all kinds of heartbreaking. Tashigi has not shared a moment alone with Zoro since he said goodbye to her at the docks of Marineford years ago, but it could've been last week by the way her heart beats. He's right there and yet, so far out of her reach.

"I don't think I will ever understand why things went down like they did… but I'm glad Luffy had you and everyone else there for him."

A minute passes in which Zoro's stare does not drift from her face, as if stubbornly trying to memorize every single atom of her.

He takes one hand inside his kimono and pulls out what appears to be a plastic bag. Inside it, there are yellowed pages. They are crumpled, and Tashigi's sure she spots a bloodstain, but she's also sure she knows exactly what they are. Her heart screams, and nothing about this conversation is fair, because Tashigi meant what she said. The more she goes out and meets new people and grows, the more she realizes just how special what she shared with Zoro truly was.

"I wish it could be different." He puts the letter away, point made.

"Yeah," Tashigi says, "me too."

But it isn't, and some things are extraordinary because they end.

_Meant_ to be doesn't always mean _meant to be._

**Author's Note:**

> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Slim_Deedee_)   
>  [Tumblr](https://deedee-writes.tumblr.com/)
> 
> take care,
> 
> Dee


End file.
